As a parent, your door is typically always open, regardless of how old your children are. 
Your adult child may return home after studying because they need to pay back student loans or do not get employment immediately.
Adult children and their partners and/or children also move home after going through a costly divorce, losing a job or becoming unable to work. Money is usually the primary motivator, but loneliness or a medical condition may also play a role.
You may think that having an extra person in the house won’t cost much, but quantifying the expenses can be eye-opening. Consider the additional costs for:
Utilities including electricity, water and internet;
Groceries and household products;
Medical expenses; and
Transport such as petrol or insurance costs.
Taking on the additional cost of having an adult child and possibly their dependents in your home can affect you in a number of ways, but it may have a particularly detrimental effect on your finances.
This is because it is likely that you will be nearing the end of your career or even have already retired when an adult child moves back home.
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TIP FOR BOOMERANG KID PARENTS Avoid incurring debt to support your adult children. If you are unable to repay the If you can’t afford to help them, be honest and tell them. |
If you are still working, having a child-free home allows you to ramp up your retirement savings, settle debts, and prepare financially for retirement.
If you have already retired, you are most probably on a tight budget with little room for extra expenses. Having an adult child back home adds financial pressure as you need to adjust your financial plans to accommodate the additional expense of another person, and possibly even their dependents, in your home.
Compromising your own retirement planning to help your adult child could leave you financially dependent on them one day when they may still be struggling to recover from their own financial setback.
Even if it feels like the right thing to do at the time because they need your financial support, consider that it can have long-term negative consequences for them too.
If you need to adjust your financial plan, consult your financial adviser to understand and potentially mitigate the impact.
Remember that any extra expenses you fund reduces your ability to achieve your own financial goals.
Discussing money with your child may be difficult, but it is important to prevent stress, resentment, and other negative effects on your family dynamic and financial well-being.
Work out what you think the additional costs will be and share it with them and explain 
the impact on your finances.
You may want to share your budget with them so they understand that you don’t have an endless supply of money, but carefully consider how much you share with them. Children who have not learnt to be responsible themselves may fail to appreciate how you have managed to achieve financial stability and may abuse you financially.
If your child is in a tough position due to circumstances beyond their control and you decide to help them by sacrificing some of your own financial goals, such as paying off debt or saving less for retirement, be open about this, as well as the long-term impact of that decision.
If your child has an income, they must contribute financially to running your household, no matter how little. If they are unemployed, encourage them to work part-time while job hunting.
Set a timeline for your financial support, including how long you are willing to pay for those personal expenses, or by when they should be financially independent. If you want them to move out, set a target date so that everyone is on the same page.Once you have reached an agreement, put everything in writing to avoid future misunderstandings.
Beware of the comfort zone
If your child’s finances have improved significantly, guard against them slipping into a comfort zone and staying on in your home at your expense. Have another conversation with them about the necessity of financial independence and which expenses you will no longer fund.
If you have been paying for some of their personal expenses, such as car repayments, insurance or medical scheme membership, stop doing so, and transfer the responsibility to them. Make it clear that this is done with love and that you will continue to support them emotionally but no longer financially.
Encourage them to move into a place of their own or to pay their fair share of household expenses. You may even charge them rent in addition to their share of the household running expenses.
Your children will go through difficult times in life, and as a parent, your instinct is to jump in and help. This is natural, but you also need to teach children to be responsible adults, which sometimes requires letting go.
As children grow into young adults, they will face many challenges which they must 
navigate. If you keep bailing them out, they never learn from these situations or develop coping mechanisms, leaving them helpless and dependent on you. This can lead to possible resentment and anger on their part.
To avoid this, help them, but ensure that they actively work at getting on their feet financially and learn from the situation. If they continue to come to you in the same financial predicament, such as being over-indebted, you must harden your heart and let them figure out the solution themselves so they stop repeating the same mistake.
It doesn’t mean you love them any less; rather, you adapt your love to ensure that they can function well in the world without running to you every time something goes wrong.
Having your adult child at home can be a beneficial experience, allowing you to reconnect and get to know each other as adults. A happy living arrangement comes from everyone feeling respected and having their needs met. This requires open communication and being truthful to yourself.
debt when you are older and less likely to get employment or improve your earnings, the repercussions can be severe.